Creating the Kind of Relationships You Want

by Dr. Bobbie Stevens on September 18, 2013

The most important thing to know about all of our relationships is that they reflect our beliefs and the beliefs of the other person.  Each party sees things from their own perspective, which is always somewhat different from another person’s perspective.  We have a tendency to think that we all see the same things, but in fact what we each see is determined by our past experiences and beliefs.  Knowing this, it is amazing that we can communicate at all, but we all know that communication is the foundation of a good relationship. Right?

Then what can we do about this dilemma? The most valuable thing you can do to create a successful relationship is to get as clear as you possibly can about what you would like the relationship to be like.  Then accept this reality in your mind.  If you can believe it can be that way you are well on your way to creating that experience.  We actually communicate on many levels other than verbal.

What happens is that there is an energy that comes from each us that tells others what we believe.  This, of course, is not on a conscious level, but is, never the less, always there.  Other people react to you in terms of your beliefs.  The principle of attraction is at work here.  Other people react to us in relationship to how we feel about ourselves and how we feel about them.

If we are afraid they will not like us or that they will take advantage of us or disappoint us, we are creating an energy that they must react to.  Remember that energy is created by what we think of ourselves and what we believe about the other party. It is very easy to believe that someone will react in the ways they have reacted in the past, and if we believe that we keep perpetuating that behavior.

All of our experiences including our relationships are created by us.  It is what we believe and how we feel that is reflected back to us through another person.  As long as we believe that we are all separate we think that we are at the mercy of others. But when we realize that we are all connected and there are principles of life that governs how we all create our own experiences we realize that we have the power to create the kind of relationships that we want.

Therefore, the way to be sure you are creating the kind of relationships you want in your life is to look inside.  How do you feel about your relationships?  What are your expectations and why?  What do you really want?  Are you willing to accept that you are creating your relationships, and if you are not pleased with them you can change them simply by changing your mind.

Of course, changing one’s mind also means changing one’s actions.  Do you have a plan for creating the kind of relationships you want or are you just hanging out waiting to see what happens?  If it is the later you are giving away your power to take charge of your life and create the kind of relationships you want.

We actually have a great deal of power in creating the kind of relationships we want in our lives when we understand the underlying principles that govern relationships.

In my book entitled Unlimited Futures: How to Understand the Life You Have and Create the Life You Want, I give you a clear understanding of how we create all of our experiences including our relationships.

We also provide our Core Course that leads you through a process that helps you to take charge of your life and create it the way you want it.  You may download a free introductory session of this course by clicking in the box on any page of our web site, requesting it.

 

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