Are Your Relationships Working For You?

by Dr. Bobbie Stevens on August 31, 2009

The most important thing to know about all of our relationships is that they reflect our beliefs and the beliefs of the other person.  Each party sees things from their own perspective, which is always somewhat different from another person’s perspective.  We have a tendency to think that we all see the same things, but in fact what we each see is determined by our past experiences and beliefs.  Knowing this, it is amazing that we can communicate at all, but we all know that communication is the foundation of a good relationship. Right?

 Then what can we do about this dilemma? The most valuable thing you can do to create a successful relationship is to get as clear as you possibly can about what you would like this relationship to be like.  Then accept this reality in your mind.  If you can believe it can be that way you are well on your way to creating that experience.  We actually communicate on many levels other than verbal.

 What happens is that there is an energy that comes from each us that tells others what we believe.  This, of course, is not on a conscious level, but is, never the less, always there.  Other people react to you in terms of your beliefs.  The principle of attraction is at work here.  Other people react to us in relationship to how we feel about ourselves and how we feel about them.

 If we are afraid they will not like us or that they will take advantage of us or disappoint us, we are creating an energy that they must react to.  Remember that energy is created by what we think of ourselves and what we believe about the other party. It is very easy to believe that someone will react in the ways they have reacted in the past, and if we believe that we keep perpetuating that behavior.

 We actually have a great deal of power in creating the kind of relationships we want in our lives when we understand the underlying principles that govern relationships.

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